Anglochat Splinters - Drivel Head

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ANGLOCHAT SPLINTERS / VII

KMHii, Drivel Head in Chevy Chase, MD

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One of the most pathetic regular occurrences in Anglochat is the font-woman behind the screen name KMHii@aol.com. Commonly known as Karen, or Slushball, our profiled Font of the Week has made Anglochat her primary home since 2004. On average she spends 18 1/2 hours a day in the AOL chatroom, according to witnesses interviewed for this article. Most of the time she transmits desultory soundbites, consisting of fractured sentences with ferocious misspellings that come in no logical sequence to chats by other AOL users.

When the tragedy in Haiti became briefly a topic in the otherwise ignorant and wanton chatroom, Karen randomly fired off garbled messages like, "a bird just hit my window" or "man it is cold." Most of the time the involuntarily comical input serves as relentless bemusement for the driftless audience in Anglochat. But - even though without any educational or life experience credentials herself - she also causes frequently rancor and rebuke with her misplaced condescending remarks that are just feeble attempts to lecture and instruct someone even more adrift than herself, ending in curious exchanges between a one-eyed leading the blind.

Most in Anglochat agree that "Karen has basically lost it." Her psychotic condition has worsened ever since she was made redundant in late 2008, after months of warnings from her then-employer to shape up and concentrate, and following a time when her employment status had been downgraded to "probationary" for various infractions, disciplinary problems and consistently unexcused tardiness. After numerous disciplinary actions did not yield marked changes in Karen's behaviour and in her desolate appearance she was finally dismissed in October 2008.

Since then KMHii has been a full-time resident at Anglochat, ridiculed even by what she calls her friends, and lambasted and "not taken for full" by her numerous foes. She has two imaginary lovers whom she consults when thorny issues, such as being habitually impecunious, arise. Both are medical doctors and "live hundreds of miles away, and always travel around the world anyway" - which suits her just fine. She also claims to have been "with them for more than 14 years" and both are married - which she also finds convenient. Consequently, she finds nothing abnormal to maintain a platonic relationship with two married doctors living far away since she had turned 31 years old.

Our correspondents in the US have provided some of the drivel from Karen. We decided to omit other members from the chat transcript as Karen's spew is random and disconnected from all ongoing chat anyway. The sampled drivel is very recent and has been corroberated by several witnesses.

Current Music: YEAH YEAH YEAHS  -  Heads Will Roll

The best and the worst of KMHii drivel:


KMH II: I GOT RID OF TOTO MAD DOG THIS MORNING
Oma284: that came from the horses mouth

KMH II: I HATE ME, BUT I NEED EM

 Health related issues:

KMH II: EVERY TIME IM IN THE HOSP IM ON AN IV WITH POTASSIUM, I DONT GET IT AND I HATE HAVING TO WALK TO LADIES ROOM WITH THOSE FUCKING OPPS MACHINES

KMH II: LAST TIME I SAID F THIS GIVE ME THE POT          

KMH II: I GET PERIODS SOMETIMES THREE TIMES A MONTH, THEN NOTHING FOR ABOUT 6 MONTHS, WHAT DOES THAT TELL YA

KMH II: NO HOPPING AVAILABLE YOU HAVE TO DRAG IT, AND I WAS LIKE IM GONNA PISS ON YOUR DAMN FLOOR, GIVE ME THE STUPID POT YOU IDIOTS       IT WAS SO HEAVY, I COULDNT WALK WITH THE LAST THING
KMH II: THEY HAD TO CUT MY CLOTHES OF IN TRAUMA ROOM, WHY I DONT KNOW SO I WAS STUCK WITH THTE GOWNS
KMH II: I WAS IN THE HOSP LOOKING LIKE A MODEL THEN
ChristielakeV63: well... for long time i cleaned houses for the assisted living..and it made me sad
KMH II: THEY ARE DRILLIN IN MY HEAD ITS SO DAMN LOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUD


Rae rae 358: KK,did you get that situation on FB cleared up?
vinplant: yes i did I blocked loads of people

Classy:

Bad Bad Goosey: LOL I STAYED IN MY NIGHTGOWN TWO DAYS
Tizherselfagin: yikes
Bad Bad Goosey: IT WAS TO COLD TO GO OUT


Sleeping arrangements:

KMH II: I SLEPT WITH MY BLAZER BOOTS AND SHAWL, I AINT TAKING MY BOOTS OFF
KMH II: I PEE SO FAST I DONT HAVE TIME TO SIGN OFF
KMH II: I SLEPT WITH MY BOOTS ON
KMH II: THEY ARE NICE BOOTS I TAKE EM OFF AND THEN I SAY F THIS AND PUT THEM BACK ON

KMH II: MY ANGRY MOM SAID I BET YOU ARE UP ALL NIGHT AND SLEEP ALL DAY, I SAID NO I DONT
KMH II: I KINDA LIED CAUSE I CAN ONLY SLEEP ABOUT 2HRS AT A TIME
vinplant: i cant stay up all night anymore. it just wears me out too much then I get ill
KMH II: I DONT DO IT ON PURPOSE KK I WAKE AT ODD HOURS


Randomly random:

KMH II: I WALKED INTO SACKS FIFTH AVENUE STORE FEELING SO UGLY AND WEARING MY TIGER WOODS CAP AND THE MAKE UP LADIES SAID YOURE SO NEEDING IT.

KMH II: I CAN SEND YOU A PIC BUT ITS FROM 2003 BUT I STILL LOOK THE SAME, GAINED A FEW THOUGH, CAUSE I WAS SICK BACK THEN
vinplant: i need to go to the gym at 11 but I just cant get any engery

KMH II: I COULD SEND YOU A PIC, BUT MOST SAY I LOOK LIKE NANCY REAGAN
KMH II: MAN I DIDNT LIKE THAT

KMH II: I DONT EVEN HAVE A CAMERA, I SHOULD HAVE HAD A PIC TAKEN THE DAY I GOT THE HAIR DONE

KMH II: I LOVE MY LEGS AND MY EARS, JUST NOT WHATS BETWEEN THEM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA

KMH II: MY EX BOSS HAD A POLISH LAST NAME, I HAD TO WRITE IT DOWN ON A POST IT NOTE AND TOOK ME A MONTH TO REMEMBER IT
KMH II: I SUCK AT REMEMBERING